


"Get Your Hands Off My Nephew!"

by Neferit



Series: Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme [8]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Awkward morning after, Bilbo and Fíli are cute here, But not for the reasons you think, Community: hobbit_kink, F/M, Filbo - Freeform, First Time, Genderbending, Het, Humour, Kink Meme, That'll Teach You to Lock The Door, fem!Bilbo, sassy!bilbo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-05
Updated: 2014-06-05
Packaged: 2018-02-03 13:01:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1745582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neferit/pseuds/Neferit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This certainly wasn’t how Fili wanted to wake up after the first night he got to spend with Bella, after all those months of pining, wasted chances and too close brushes with death, many of those happening because of his uncle Thorin.<br/>He loved his uncle, but Mahal’s Forge, could that man keep his voice down for at least five seconds?</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Get Your Hands Off My Nephew!"

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a [prompt](http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/11476.html?thread=23714260#t23714260) made on hobbit kink meme over at LJ:
> 
>  
> 
> _After months of UST, of almost dying too many times, of Orcs, Goblins and horrible trolls, Bilbo and Fíli finally have a night for themselves, and is as amazing and earth-shaking as they have ever dreamed. And of course, after mind-blowing sex comes the exhausted cuddle sleep._
> 
>  
> 
> _And the Gods know why Thorin thought it was a good idea to enter into his nephew's room so early in the morning and without knocking -  aka Fíli and Bilbo do the fricky frack and Thorin finds out when he wants on them deeply asleep and very naked the next day. Thorin's reaction is up to author, but I would love Thorin having a ‘that's my nephew you lecherous rat’ moment while Fíli -still naked- tries to calm him down._
> 
>  
> 
> And sweet Force if that didn't get my Filbo motors running.

 

This certainly wasn’t how Fili wanted to wake up after the first night he got to spend with Bella, after all those months of pining, wasted chances and too close brushes with death, many of those happening because of his uncle Thorin.

He loved his uncle, but _Mahal’s Forge_ , could that man keep his voice _down_ for at least five seconds?

“Uncle!” he yelled, standing protectively before the bed, shielding Bella even more from the sight of the dwarves who, hearing the commotion, rushed to see what the fuss was all about. While Bella immediately hogged the covers to cover herself as much as possible once Thorin started yelling, he jumped from the bed to stop his uncle from attempting to murder their Burglar (and his Bella!), feeling a bit awkward to show his stuff for the whole world to see but hell if he wouldn’t protect at least Bella’s decency if not his own.

Well, that and no one will bloody ogle what is his.

Finally, his uncle needed to stop his litany of bloody burglars who have nothing better to do than corrupt innocent dwarves and use their inexperience in the world to have their wicked way with them to breathe, so Fili finally got to say something as well.

“Could we have some privacy here?” he said, glaring at the rest of their company, who mostly just grinned at them, or wolf-whistled, making Bella behind him whimper and judging by the sounds behind him (he didn’t dare to turn around to take a look), crawl even deeper under the covers. Kili was the last to leave, but not without turning around in the door, and giving him a wide smile. Feeing at least a bit encouraged that at least one family member thought his relationship good gave Fili a warm feeling and courage to face his uncle, who was once again scowling darkly and was no doubt seriously considering changing his opinion of the Company Burglar again to the worse.

“If it’s any consolation, uncle, the only corruption that took place here had been done _by_ me, not _to_ me,” he started conversationally, making Bella groan from her hiding place, and Thorin getting so red that for a moment Fili had been worried he will burst a vessel. Finally his awkwardness won, and he went to sit on the bed, feeling Bella move behind him, as he waited for Thorin to catch his breath and continue yelling.

But he didn’t because suddenly, Bella sat, still mostly hidden behind him, her hand slowly laid on his shoulder.

“Get your hands off my nephew!” growled Thorin, and for a moment Fili thought that Bella will jerk away. Yet she didn’t and he raised his own hand to cover hers as they faced leader of their Company. “What did the two of you thought you are doing?!”

“I believe that is rather personal question,” answered Bella, her Baggins side coming up. “But the public part of it all is that Fili offered his suit in courtship and I accepted. See?” She leant forward, letting her hair ( _that beautiful mane_ ) to fall over Fili’s shoulder, showing off the courting braid he barely managed to make in her hair before things got rather… heated.

“I also believe that I can guess what you are thinking right now, master Oakenshield,” Bella continued, surprisingly sliding down from the bed, the sheets wrapped tightly around her as she faced their leader with her head proudly raised, “but I can assure that despite my usual claims of being just a hobbit, I’m not an ordinary one. My father, Bungo Baggins, came from a very respectable line, and my mother, Belladona Took, was a favourite daughter of her father, Gerontius Took, the current Thain of the Shire, who is the closest thing we have to kings. I’m the sole owner of Bag End and the surrounding estates, am good at diplomacy and I’m winner of several annual competitions with my tomatoes. And last but not least, I’m in love with your nephew, whose courting suit I accepted.”

For a moment, which to Bella’s nerves seemed like whole Age, there was complete silence, before Thorin started laughing silently. “That was the best monologue I’ve ever heard that was intended to sway me in anyone’s favour, Mistress Baggins.” He shook his head before he looked at Fili, his eyes full of amusement unusual for the often grim man. “You two have my support – I just ask that you keep the Quest on the foremost of your mind.”

“We will, uncle,” promised Fili, and Bella fervently nodded her head in agreement. With one last chuckle, Thorin left the room, with Bella immediately running to lock it behind him. _“Phew,”_ she breathed out, her whole posture sagging in relief. “This certainly was something what is often referred to as ‘the awkward morning after’, yes?” she asked, her eyes twinkling as he groaned. But then a thought stroke him.

“Well,” he drawled, enjoying how Bella immediately perked at attention at the sound, her eyes drawn to him, “we could still make it less awkward, if you only came back to bed.”

“You do realize we have only about ten minutes before someone else comes knocking, right?” Bella said, breathless, once Fili unwrapped the blankets from around her and pulled her close. “Of course,” he mumbled from where he was laying kisses on her shoulder. “We dwarves are built for endurance, but for you, my dear Bella, I will make an exception.”

The giggle she made at hearing that made it all worth it, even if he was sure he will never live this morning down.


End file.
